Trabia Garden, The not so Final Fantasy
by netrix.geo
Summary: Trabia Garden, with all the ff characters from VI, VII, and VIII hanging around. WARNING: not reccomended for some younger viewers
1.

OK, this fanfic takes place in Trabia Garden of Final Fantasy VIII... just.... all the c haracters of final fantasy VI, VII and VIII are there. just one last thing, i dont own final fantasy! Square Electronic Arts does! And, yes, i did get the end to ffVII (well, not really.. a friend of mine explained it to me.). I know what Holy did. Now, lets ignore it. hehehehehehe... muahahahahahahahahaha!!  
OH! And one last thing! Any fans of the following characters may want to turn back now, I dont appreciate flames.  
Selphie  
Laguna  
Irvine  
Seifer  
Barret  
Cyan  
Strago  
  
& Anyone who doesnt like the following couples may not like the fic also.  
Zell and Quistis  
Squall and Rinoa  
Celes and Locke  
Tifa and Cloud  
Aeris and Sephiroth  
Laguna, Selphie, Seifer and Irvine as a big confused love square.  
  
NOW, the content warning:  
This fic contains homosexual couples, prostitution, hints at couples having sex, language, violence, and sephiroth rolling around on grass. OK! With that over with, on with it!  
  
  
Seifer mumbled under his breath, as he began cutting the grass around the garden. He hardly thought it was fair, that he, the Sorceress' Knight, should be doing such an unworthy job. Just then, Laguna came running out of the garden.  
"EEEEYYYY!"  
Seifer let go of the lawn mower, "Hey budday!"  
"Yo!"  
"Hi!"  
"Hey!"  
"How's it hangin'?"  
"Good, budday, good...."  
"Good"  
"Selphie lowered her prices again."  
Seifer grinned, "Excellent..."  
Tifa came running out of the garden with sissors, "No, no NO! Seifer, you're doing it all wrong!"  
Seifer turned to her, "What? What is it?"  
Tifa stopped running, and gasped for breath, "I didnt mean for you to use the lawn mower! It doesnt give the grass that nice finish that the grass outside Trabia Garden was once famous for!"  
Seifer stood there, staring at her breasts. It was obvious he hadn't been listening. Tifa noticed this, and punched him in the stomach.  
Tifa, "USE SISSORS!!"  
She threw the sissors at Seifer, who was laying on the ground moaning in pain. She threw a pair to Laguna too, "YOU HELP!!"  
Tifa ran back into the garden.  
Laguna helped Seifer up, "AWH MAN! Whatta we gonna do now, man?"  
Seifer sighed,"I dunno man... but i think we should, like, cut the grass before she gets back here to punch both of us.. man..."  
"Yhea..." Laguna shook his head as he began to cut the grass, "To think i gave up ruling Esthar to come to this damn place..."  
"Yeah, i know what ya mean, man..."  
  
  
~*~*~*~Later~*~*~*~*~*~  
Seifer stood up, angry. The two of them had cut about 2m^2 of grass.  
Seifer, "THATS IT! I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"  
Seifer, "Firaga!!"  
Laguna was burnt to a crisp.  
Laguna, "....uh......"  
Seifer, "Ah.. sorry, Budday.... i didn't meant to hit you..."  
Laguna, "....."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Sephiroth was rolling around on the grass.  
Cloud, Aeris, Tifa, Vincent, Yuffie, and Cid were all standing watching him.  
Sephiroth, "wheeeee!! i am becoming one with the planet!!!!!"  
Cloud, "...........uh.............."  
Tifa, "And to think he was the evil force destroying the earth......"  
Aeris, Cloud, Vincent, Yuffie and Cid nodded in agreement.  
Sephiroth continued rolling, "I am becoming one with the planet!! Planet, hear me! I am one with you!!"  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Selphie, "Hello, Squall......."  
Rinoa, "Get away from him, you stupid bimbo!"  
Selphie, "Just because i dress like a bimbo doesnt mean i am one!"  
Squall, "Yeah, dad! Just beause i dress like a homosexual doesn't mean I am one!"  
Selphie, Seifer, Laguna, and Rinoa, "........."  
  
~*~*~*~*~ A few days later ~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Sephiroth grinned, "Now, my SeeD! Go forth, and conquer the short people!"  
ALL of the ff characters in the fic around the garden except sephy, "Yes sir!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~ In the realm of the short people (aka the playmobile in my friends sisters room) ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Short People (Playmobile), "We delcare you, Irvine, Seifer, and Laguna, as the Lords of the Short People!"  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Squall, "Damnit... where could they have gone..."  
Locke shrugged, "out of the closet..."  
Squall, "Shut up, man! This is my dad we're talking about!"  
Edgar, "Yeah... yer gay dad and his pansy friends..."  
Squall starts crying, "Shut up!". He runs over into a corner, crying.  
Rinoa runs after him, "Awh, its alrigh Squall......"  
Squall looks up crying, "They said mean stuff about my dad..."  
Rinoa, "Yeah, but we all know its true, Squall..."  
Squall starts crying more.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Laguna pokes Irvine's ass. They both giggle.  
Irvine pokes him back. They both giggle agian.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Squall looks up, "There they are! Finally!"  
Laguna, Irvine and Seifer come back.  
Selphie winks, "We've been woried about you...."  
Cyan, "Lo and behold, for our friends have returned! Now, it is time to make marry and celebrate these good times!"  
Cyan begins to sing.  
Celes sighs, "...oooh no.... here goes bard guy again...."  
Cyan, "I live in a Cyan house with Cyan windows. Cyan is the color, of all that I wear..."  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sephiroth is rolling around on the grass, "I am one with the planet!!!!"  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 


	2. 

Terra looked at Cyan, and sighed.  
All of them walked off  
Cyan, "uh... hello? HELLO? Anyone here? ANYONE? SOMEONE? Hello? HELLO?"  
Some of the short people came and took him back to their castle.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Squall, "OK! Now, we invade the castle!"  
Cloud sighed, "OK, who died and made you leader?"  
Squall started crying, "Cid.. now im very sensative about that... so please... try not to bring it up..."  
Cid (ffVII), "Hey, im right here!"  
Cid (ffVI), "No, I'm Cid!!"  
Celes, "Hey old man! You're dead!"  
Cid (ffVI), "No im not!"  
Celes, "Yeah you are! I poisoned your fish!"  
Squall cries more, "Thats mean!!!"  
Celes, both Cid's and Cloud, "SHUT up!!"  
Squall runs into a corner, crying, "You're all so mean!!!"  
Cid (ffVI), "You killed me?"  
Cid (ffVII), "Hell, if i were your granddaughter or whatever, I'd do the same!"  
Cid (ffVI), "You take that back!"  
Cid (ffVII), "no!"  
The two Cids start fighting.  
  
Quistis sighs, and walks away.  
Zell follows.  
As does Cloud, Aeris, Tifa, Terra, Celes, Locke, and everyone else.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Sephiroth is still rolling around on the grass. Then, he notices that some of the grass is longer.  
Sephiroth, "NO! Long grass!!! Noooooo! That stupid Seifer boy, he was cutting the grass, wasen't he? He must die!!!"  
Sephiroth begins rolling towards where the rest of them are.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Cyan, "I have a girlfriend, and she's Cyan too... I'm Cyan, aba dee aba diee..."  
One of the Short People, "Hwah! Fwaa nata heehi naiy!! (translation=God! this guy sings awful!!)  
Another one of the Short People, "ata nii fwan numair tetei nadai! (translation=I know, but we need him as our secret weapon!)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Seifer, "Awright... now whatta we gonna do?"  
Selphie winks, "I know what WE could do.... teehee!"  
Seifer hands Selphie $50 and they walk off into the forest.  
Rinoa shudders, "Thats sick...."  
Aeris, "Well... when you grew up in the slums like I did selling yourself is pretty normal..."  
Rinoa, "huh? No, I meant Seifer and Selphie together..."  
Squall, "What? Selphie's a prostitute?"  
Zell sighs, "Squall, man, didn't you know earlier....."  
Vincent, ".......I'm surprised you didn't notice earlier...."  
Edgar, "Yeah... I mean, who else would wear an ugly yellow dress like that?"  
Gau, "Where Mr. Thou?"  
Locke, "Huh? Oh.. Cyan........."  
Sabin, "I don't know......"  
Gau turns to Sabin, "MR. THOU!!!"  
Sabin sighs, "No! Thats Cyan..... not me... Cyan..."  
Gau looks confused, "Mr. Thou....?"  
Edgar sighs, and turns to Rinoa, "So, Rinoa, honey, how are you on this fine morning?"  
Rinoa, "...its.....night...."  
Edgar, "Aaah! I knew that... hehe.. No wonder its so dark..... So, honey, lookin for some love?"  
Rinoa, "What are you? A male version of Selphie?"  
Edgar sighed, "... well, I tried.............. So, Aeris, how are you? Isn't the starry night so beautiful?"  
Aeris, "........."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Sephiroth continues his journey of rolling.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The SeeD's finally reach the castle of the Short People  
They can hear Cyan singing from outside  
Mog, "Kupo Kupo!! Kupo-godawfulsinging!!"  
Terra nods, "Yes, Mog, its Cyan alright..."  
Locke, "Alright... we can do this!"  
Sephiroth rolls up to them, and jumps up.  
Sephiroth, "Theme song man!"  
~Sephiroth's main theme (THE sephy theme) begins playing in the foreground (muahahahaha! to hell with background music! Its foreground music!!) ~  
Sephiroth, "Seifer! I told you to cut the grass!"  
Seifer, "uh..."  
Tifa, "I told him to! I gave him the sissors!"  
Sephiroth, "Seifer, you have discraced the name of Trabia Gardne!"  
Sephiroth, "Super Nova!!"  
Yuffie, "...o no..."  
  
through 10 min of Super Nova  
  
Seifer, "Aaaaagh! Im dying!"  
Squall, "that was mean!"  
Sephiroth, "You wanna be next?!?"  
Squall cowers, "...no..."  
Sephiroth, "NOW, ive got work to do.. and Seifer, you have grass to cut when you get back!"  
Sephiroth starts rolling on the ground again, going back to the garden.  
Cloud, "....ah......"  
Zell, "Man, what a puss!"  
Aeris, "what?"  
Zell, "You guys wasted your asses off to stop THAT guy from destroying the world... that guys so weak.."  
Cloud, "EXCUSE ME? 'That Guy', is Sephiroth!"  
Zell, "I know man... Ultemicia was so much harder than that loser!"  
Edgar, "...by harder you mean...."  
Yuffie kicks Edgar in the shin.  
Edgar, "....ow...ow...ow....pain... great pain..."  
Vincent, "Sephiroth was by no stretch easy!"  
Zell, "He looks like a goddamn homo.... no offence, Squall..."  
Squall starts crying, "You're all so mean!!"  
Locke, "Sephiroth doesnt look gay... Kefka, now he was gay..."  
Cloud nods in agreement, "Yeah... he was a damn clown thing..."  
Zell, "Kefka or Sephiroth?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~ Later ~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Quistis, "If were ever going to get through this, you guys had better stop fighting!"  
Zell, "Awh man... but... Ultemicia was WAY harder than that loser.."  
Cloud, "He was not!"  
Zell, "he was so!"  
Terra, "STOP IT!!!"  
They shut up.  
Celes, "Ok. now.. we should pick a leader...."  
Squall, "Oh! Me! Me!!"  
Sabin, "Shut up, ya pansy!"  
Squall starts crying, "..."  
Terra, "We'll all write votes on paper, then put them all in a bucket. Whoever has the most votes is the leader."  
  
~*~*~*~  
The Votes:  
Squall ~*~ "Me!"  
Laguna ~*~ "like, Seifer all the way, man......."  
Quistis ~*~ "Zell"  
Seifer ~*~ "Seifer, the magnificent Sorceress' Knight!"  
Rinoa ~*~ "Squall"  
Selphie ~*~ " Selphie, TeeHee!"  
Zell ~*~ "Quistis"  
Irvine ~*~ "Selphie..."  
Cloud ~*~ "Cloud Strife, ExSoldier"  
Aeris ~*~ "Cloud should be leader."  
Barret ~*~ "Barret"  
Tifa ~*~ "Cloud..."  
Red XIII ~*~ "Tifa should lead"  
Yuffie ~*~ "I wanna Lead! Pick Yuffie!"  
Cait Sith ~*~ "Yuffie should lead"  
Vincent ~*~ "Damnit, i dont care! Just not that pansy Squall!"  
Locke ~*~ "Celes should lead us"  
Mog ~*~ "Tifa-Kupoo!"  
Sabin ~*~ "Please not Squall"  
Terra ~*~ "Locke should.."  
Edgar ~*~ "Edgar should lead"  
Gau ~*~ "Mr. Thou!!"  
Setzer ~*~ "Maria, the opra singer... what? Oh, right! Celes!! Celes!!!"  
Strago ~*~ "Gau should lead.. hehe... ehehehe... im a crazy old man... hehehe"  
Shadow ~*~ "I do not mind, so long as it is not Squall."  
Celes ~*~ "Locke!"  
Relm ~*~ "Shadow! Shadow should lead!"  
  
Squall- (2-3) -1  
Quistis- 1  
Seifer- 2  
Selphie- 2  
Zell- 1  
Cloud- 3  
Barret- 1  
Tifa- 2  
Yuffie- 2  
Locke- 2  
Celes- 2  
Edgar- 1  
Gau- 1  
Shadow- 1  
Sabin- 1  
~*~*~  
Rinoa, "Well, that means Cloud is our leader...."  
Cloud, "...ok, I need to put you in groups..... Ok, first group is Seifer, Setzer, Rinoa, Zell, Barret, Red XIII, Cait Sith, Edgar, Shadow and Relm."  
Seifer, "What? Awh, man! I wanna be with Irvine And Laguna!!"  
Cloud, "SECOND GROUP is Laguna, Yuffie, Myself, Aeris, Tifa, Locke, Mog, Terra, and Celes."  
Cloud, "The last group is Squall, Quistis, Irvine, Selphie, Vincent, Sabin, Gau, and Strago."  
Gau, "Mr. THou!!!""  
Sabin, (sweatdrop) "......."   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Why are they divided into three groups? What sort of plans do the short people have for Cyan? Is squall gay?  
These answers may come in the next chapter!!  
Please review! ^-~ & no flames.. i warned you at the begining... 


	3. 

LOL! I got so many reviews, you people love my story! you really do! im so happy..... hehe.... ^-^ OK, so, more with the madness, ne? hehehe OH! And i forgot to add Squall to that list in the begining, k? he's supposta be on there..... :D And, i know.. not many of those char's have been bashed, but.. fear not, ive only done 2 chapters so far. seriously.... O.o and yes, i know.. we all love sephy-sama.... and..hehe.. i changed the title after a while.. just incase you were confused... :D  
ok! enough of my blabbing! hehehe......  
  
Cloud, "OK! First group, you are assault group one! Second, assault group 2! and third grup, you are rescuign Cyan!!'  
Sabin groans, "Do we really have to rescue him? Can't we just leave him there....?"  
Cloud, "......"  
Celes, "......uh...."  
Squall, "...but.. that would be mean!!"  
Locke, "Shut up, ya pansy!!"  
Irvine, "Stupid thief!"  
Locke, "...ach! THATS TREASURE HUNTER!!"  
Seifer, "Oh, is it?"  
Locke, "....."  
Celes, "....o no...."  
Edgar backs away, "i think.. my group is gunna leave now.. come on...."  
Edgar, Shadow, Relm, Cait Sith, Red XIII, Barret, Zell, Rinoa and Setzer leave.  
Seifer, "Ya stupid...stupid........ugly-head!!"  
Locke, "...ugly-head?"  
Edgar, "COME ON, Seifer..."  
Seifer, "..."  
Sefier goes with Edgar & the rest of his group to assault the front of the Castle of the Short People.  
Locke glares at Irvine  
Irvine, "Damnit, I never noticed how sexy you are when you get mad... heehee.."  
Celes, "...thats it! You get away from him now, you sicko!!"  
Irvine, "OH! Don't hate me because im beautiful!"  
Laguna, "Yeah!"  
Laguna pokes Irvine in the ass.  
Irvine, "heeheehee..." Irvine pokes him in the ass back  
Locke, "Agh, goddamnit, i cant watch this.. Come on, my group's moving now..."  
Celes, "Yeah.. ok... Come on!"  
Yuffie, Cloud, Aeris, Tifa, Locke, Mog, Terra and Celes go go assault the front entrance.  
Laguna and Irvine are still poking eachother, not noticing that everyone is leaving.  
The third group leaves as well.  
Laguna, "hey, budday, we're all alone.."  
Irvine winks, "good.. good..."  
Laguna shudders, "i..uhh... gotta go.. ain't we the lords o them short peeps?"  
Irvine, "Oh, yhea!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Sephiroth is all covered in leaves, "Muahahahahahahahahahahaaa! I have become one with the planet!! ahahahahahaha! Planet, i am one with you!!"  
A cat jumps out of a leaf pile.  
Sephiroth, "lo! An omen! I name this cat Chibi Sephy! And this cat will help me destroy the world!!"  
Chibi Sephy, "Meoooo..."  
Sephiroth, "muahahahahahaha!"  
Chibi Sephy starts rolling around on the grass.  
Sephiroth, "Yes, my cat, make yourself one with the planet!! muaahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa!!!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Cloud, "Alright... when i give the word, attack...."  
The rest of his group nods.  
Cloud, ".... ... ..... .... THE WORD!!"  
Locke, "Ultima!"  
Cloud, "Hey, thats my spell!"  
Locke, "What're you talking about? My shield taught it to me..."  
Cloud, "Nuh-uh! I learnt it from a rock!!"  
Locke, "Well, i dont give a shit.. cuz my shield's better than your rock!!"  
Terra, "... ..... ... I learnt it from a rock too....."  
Mog, "Shiny Rock-Kupo!!"  
Terra nods.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Rinoa, "OK...ok... now, everyone, attack!!"  
Cyan, "I'm Cyan, aba dii aba diee!"  
Zell, "AAGH!! NOOO! Retreat! retreat!!"  
They run away.  
Rinoa, "OK, ok.. what do we do now?"  
Cait Sith, "I'm just a stuffed animal.. I'll go sit on him.."  
Edgar, "uh..ok...you do that...."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Gau, "Mr. Thou where is Baka-man?"  
Sabin, "huh? Bat-man? OH! Cyan..... I.. dont know.. im kinda hoping we dont find him though..."  
Vincent and Quistis nod in agreement.  
Vincent, "Finding him would mean our deaths......"  
Squall, "You're so mean! Can't you see he just wants to express himself?"  
Sabin, "...."  
Quistis, "...."  
Selphie, "...."  
Vincent, "...."  
Sabin, "Pummel!!"  
Squall falls over.  
Selphie, "Why do you yell the name of your attack? It's so gay..."  
Sabin, "What? No it isnt!"  
Quistis, "Yeah, and whats with your chest? You've got bigger breasts than Tifa...."  
Sabin, "DO NOT!!"  
Vincent, "it is true, Sabin...."  
Sabin, "HEY! Just because my sprite is large-breasted doesn't mean i really am!!"  
Quistis, "Yes it does.... my sprite had a big ugly nose, and I really have that...."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sephiroth, "muahaha! ok, Chibi Sephy.. you know what i tought you..."  
Chibi Sephy, "Meooo Meooo!"  
  
Through Meooo Meooo, the cats version of Super Nova.....  
  
Sephiroth, "muahaha! Very good! Now, with this, i will rule the world! I will cast Super Nova, then they will use Knights of the Round, then i will use Super Nova, then they will use Doom Train, then you will use Meooo Meooo, and I will use Super Nova and together we will drive them insane!!! muahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!"  
Chibi Sephy, "......meo meo meooooo.."  
Sephiroth, "I am not!!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Cait Sith, "Alright... all I need to do is sit on him..."  
Cyan, "I have a girlfriend, and she's Cyan too, I'm Cyan.."  
Cait Sith sbudders, at the thought of a female Cyan. He then sits on Cyan  
Cyan "mmmf ba mmppp whhuuu bnnnnh uuuummaiii........mllf! mlllllfff"  
The short people begin poking Cait Sith  
Cait Sith, "Ahahahahaha! Don't you get it? I'm stuffed! You can't destroy me!"  
Cait Sith's stuffing begins to fall out.  
Cait Sith, ".......uh oh..."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Cloud, "HEY! Meteor is my spell too!!"  
Locke, "No! I had it first!!"  
Cloud, "And Ifrit too! Thats mine!!"  
Locke, "Nuh-uh!"  
Cloud, "Yuh-huh!"  
Locke, "Nuh-uh!"  
Cloud, "Yuh-huh!"  
Yuffie sighs, "Oh no... this'll be going on for a while.. oh well..... Leviathin!"  
The big scerpant thingy comes and the short people drown, cuz there too short.  
Cloud, "... .... ... brilliant idea, Yuffie! Now, to find Cyan!"  
Celes, "Do we have to?"  
Cloud, ".........no... lets just go then."  
Aeris, "Ok... lets go check on Sephiroth.. make sure he's not trying to destroy the world with Ladybugs again..."  
Yuffie, "yeah..."  
They walk away from the castle of the short people back to Trabia Garden.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Sephiroth is rolling around on the grass again, "Muahahahaha! Let us become one with the planet, Chibi Sephy!! Muaaahahahahahaaaa!"  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Setzer, "awh man, Cait Sith is getting totally killed out there..."  
Shadow shrugs, "He's only a stuffed animal... we can replace him..."  
Rinoa nods, "See, watch..." Rinoa grabs a stuffed chicken from Relm.  
Relm, "HEY! Give Alfred Chicken back!!!" Relm starts kicking Rinoa's leg  
Rinoa, "Ow! Oww! Oww! OWWW!! Ok, fine! fine! Take your damn chicken back!"  
Relm takes Alfred Chicken back, then starts drawing Rinoa.  
Edgar, "....ooooh no...."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Cait Sith, "OW OW OWWW!!! Oh no.. my insides are all falling outside... this isnt good...."  
Short People, "Die! Die! Die!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Zell, "AHA! I know how to save him?"  
Rinoa, "But Zell, we already--"  
Edgar interrupts, "What is it?"  
Zell grins, "Watch this!! Dolphin----oh damn I forgot my attack again.. nevermind..."  
Edgar sighs.  
Setzer, "...hmmm............. Vanish!"  
Setzer disappears.  
The Short People, "ACH! Stopitstopit!"  
The short people all light on fire, fall over and die.  
Setzer reappears.  
Zell, "WHOA! WHAT'D you DO?!?"  
Setzer shrugged, "used Fire on them....."  
Edgar laughed, "ah... Zell, maybe you need to be more aware of whats going on...."  
Red XIII, "Well, its not our job to save Cyan... lets go...."  
They leave without Cyan  
Cyan, "HEY? Where're you guys going? Huh? Wait up!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Will the other group find Cyan? What was meant for him? Is Sephiroth's cat going to destroy the world? What color is Sephiroth's cat? And what kind of Cat is it? IS SQUALL GAY OR NOT?!?!?!  
Maybe i might tell you in the next chapter of Trabia Garden, The not so Final Fantasy!!  
  
Please Review! I love reading them, and it ispires me to write the next chapter quick!  
^-^  
Also, please check out my other fanfic. Thanx! 


	4. 

OK! Thank you for the reviews! I really like reviews.. and this one is getting so many! ^-^  
thank you, and here's the fourth chapter.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Squall, "C'mon.. we have to find Cyan!"  
Gou, ".........baka-man!"  
Strago, "hehehehehe.... I'm a crazed old man... hehehe.... let's go find Cyan!"  
Strago runs into the Castle of the Short People  
Quistis, Vincent, Sabin, "............."  
Vincent, "It seems he has run off into the castle."  
Quistis, "Yeah, way to state the obvious..."  
Vincent, "Some of us are ignorant of what that man does..."  
Selphie, "...TeeHee! Where's Irvine?"  
Vincent, "...see?"  
Quistis nods, "I havent seen Irvine for a while...."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Short People, "Aaaayayaya! We are the short people!"  
Irvine and Seifer are sitting down.  
Irvine, "its too damn small in here..."  
Seifer, "Well, they're only that tall..."  
Irvine, "True..."  
Irvine grins, "Well, my loyal short subjects, what task to you wish us to order you to do?"  
Short People, "We must make war against that garden!"  
Short People, "Aye! Aye! Haaaaai! Ayaaayayayayayayaaa!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sabin, "Well, i suppose we have to go save Strago, hm?"  
Squall, "And Cyan..."  
Quistis sighs, "..... I suppose........ we..... could......"  
Squall, "You're all so MEAN!!"  
Selphie, "Awh... poor Squall... so upset..."  
Quistis, "Get lost, slut."  
Squall, "THATS MEAN!!!"  
Vincent, "......perhaps it was. But, sometimes, the truth hurts..."  
Selphie, "Well, I can see my services aren't appreciated here..... I'm leaving..."  
Selphie runs into the castle too.  
Gau, "oooooono! ohnoohno!"  
Sabin, "I agree..."  
Quistis, "You agree? Do you even know what the hell he just said?!?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Cloud, "Master Sephiroth! We have returned--............uh..."  
Sephiroth & Chibi Sephy are rolling around on the grass  
Yuffie whispers, "He's still doing that?"  
Terra whispers, "Apparently..."  
Celes whispers, "He's got a cat now...?"  
Mog whispers, "Kupo..."  
Aeris whispers, "its cute!"  
Locke shudders.  
Cloud whispers, "the cat looks like its plotting our demise..."  
Sephiroth jumps up, "HELLO MY SeeD!!!"  
Chibi Sephy, "MeoooO!"  
Sephiroth, "Oh, quiet you!"  
Chibi Sephy, "Meoo meo meeeooowww!"  
Sephiroth, "....aha.....haha........ hahaha.......er....hmm..."  
Yuffie, "uh.."  
Cloud whispers, "He understands it?"  
Tifa whispers, "I guess so.."  
Sephiroth, "Well, my SeeD, where are the rest of them?"  
Cloud, "Sir! We left in advance to come back and check---er.. to make sure you were well!"  
Sephiroth, "Well, you did wise. I am not well!"  
Locke, "What is it you need, Lord Sephiroth?"  
Sephiroth, "....Chibi Sephy is hungry..."  
Locke, "..uh....Chibi.. Sephy?"  
Sephiroth points to Chibi Sephy, proudly, "This little guy! Isn't he cute?!?"  
Terra, "uh..sure... I will feed him right away."  
Terra leans down on her knees, "C'mere little guy!"  
Chibi Sephy grouls.  
Terra, "..uh.....Chibi Sephy, come here...."  
Sephiroth, "Chibi Sephy! My little hell spawn! Go to her, and she will give you food!"  
Chibi Sephy runs to Terra, "Meeoooo!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
-----The Next Morning------  
Chibi Sephy is sitting at the door to Terra's room, "MeeooOO!"  
Terra, who is very tired, "Whaaat? whats that? who's that?"  
Terra opens the door, and sees Chibi Sephy sitting there.  
Chibi Sephy, with sweatdrop, "Meeeeooooooooo!"  
Terra, "huh?"  
Chibi Sephy, "MEO!"  
Terra, ".....?"  
Chibi Sephy, "meooo meooo!"  
  
Through 10 min of meooo meooo, Chibi Sephys version of Super Nova  
  
Terra, "...... ..... ....uh......ok...."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Rinoa, "Sir! We are back!"  
Sephiroth, "Good good! ..where are the rest?"  
Edgar, "They are rescuing Cyan, who was captured previously... although we seem to be missing Seifer as well. But if he is captured, they will rescue him."  
Sephiroth, "Good enough, good enough."  
Sephiroth grins, "Now, which of you want to be in charge of bathing Chibi Sephy?"  
Rinoa thinking, 'aaawh... did Sephiroth have a baby? how cute!"  
Rinoa, "I will! I will!"  
Sephiroth, "Good! Glad to see how enthusiastic about it you are! Chibi Sephy is with Terra!"  
Rinoa, "heeheehee!!"  
Rinoa runs to Terras room.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Short People, "Ooi!  
Seifer is eating grapes, hand fed to him by the short people, as are Irvine and Selphie.  
Although, Selphie is a bit to busy to be eating Grapes... As is Irvine.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Strago, "eeeheheheheheheheheheeeeeeeeeee!!"  
Cyan, "I'm Cyan........."  
Strago, "heheheheeeeheheheheeeee!"  
Cyan, "....aba dii aba diee!..."  
Strago, "eeeeeheeeeheeeeheheheheheheeeeeee"  
Cyan, "..aba di aba die!"  
Short People shudder.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Rinoa, ".............uh.."  
Terra, "Here.. take 'em.."  
Terra throws Chibi Sephy into Rinoa's arms.  
Terra quickly closes her door.  
Rinoa, holding Chibi Sephy, "...........uh.......ok.....lets give you a bath..."  
Chibi Sephy, "Meooo Meooo!!!  
  
through 10 min of Meooo Meooo, Chibi Sephy's version of Super Nova  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Sabin, "So...then.... I guess........"  
Quistis, "yes..........."  
Vincent, "If we must, let us get it over with."  
Squall charges at the castle, "yaaaaa! Let us rescue our friends! Friendship is so strong,  
and I need my friends! Let us save them, for we care so much for so little!"  
Quistis, Sabin and Vincent sigh.  
Quistis, "what a fool..."  
Vincent, "yes..."  
Sabin, "Well....."  
Gau, "......"  
Quistis, Vincent, and Sabin begin to slowly walk towards the castle of the Short People.  
Gau follows.  
  
The enter the room where Strago and Cyan are being held.  
Quistis, "Shiva!"  
The Short People all freeze.  
Strago, "eeehehehehehe! Look at the ice! Let's build an igloo!"  
Quistis sighs, "Thats with snow, not ice, you damn crazy bastard....."  
Strago, "ooooooeeeeiiiiiiii!!!"  
Vincent sighs, and grabs Strago by the arm. He pulls him out of the castle.  
Gau takes Cyan.  
Sabin, "We're still missing Selphie and Irvine..."  
Quistis, "I guess it sup to find them. VINCENT, GAU! TAKE THOSE TWO BACK TO THE GARDEN AND GET BACKUP! WE MAY NEED IT!"  
Gau, "oooooyayayayayayaaa!"  
Quistis and Sabin run up the stairs. They open the door to the room where Irvine, Seifer and Selphie are.  
Sabin, "aagh!" Sabin closes the door.  
Quistis, "We DIDN'T need to see that..."  
Sabin, "I know...."  
Quistis, "uh..." Quistis knocks on the door.  
Irvine, "...uum..uh......"  
Selphie, "Ok, Come in! TeeHee!!"  
Quistis slowly opens the door.  
THe Short People are standing there, spears pointed at them.  
Sabin, "BUM RUSH!!"  
Selphie, "Oooooo!! Sexy! TeeHee!"  
Quistis sighs, "Diablo!"  
Short People die.  
Selphie, "OK! Back to the garden! TeeHee!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Sephiroth, "Alright, I'm glad you are all back. Ive sent Zell into town to buy some supplies. Which we need. Now, your next task. Half of you will be bathing Chibi Sephy, and the other half making enough Hot Dogs for Zell to eat."  
  
*dum dum dum daaaaaa!*  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
WILL they be able to make that many hot dogs? Will they manage to bathe Chibi Sephy? You still dont know if ive decided if Squall is gay or not, do you? hahahahahah! You are at my mercy!  
...er...uh.. ok.. coninuing....   
What color IS Chibi Sephy's fur?  
Hey, wait.. i guess i will answer that.. ok.. well  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~ THE FACT BEHIND CHIBI SEPHY ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
One day, as i was leaving the house (or, walking out the door at least) the TV in my brother's room was on. It was on TeleToon, and PowerPuff Girls was on. On it, was this cute cute little cat, that was plotting all their demises. I named it Sephy, and it was sooooooooo cute ^-^.  
So, this cat, Chibi Sephy, is actually the cat on Powerpuff Girls. I don't own Powerpuff Girls, but I do own my character Chibi Sephy, as he is based on that cat.  
  



	5. ....

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
A big army of short people come out and attack Quistis and Sabin.  
Squall comes running out of a closet, "yaaa! Let us save our friends! Friendship is powerful!!"  
Sabin sighs, ".....uh.... oww! Stupid damn short thing!"  
The short people are poking Quistis, Sabin and Squall with their spears.  
Squall, "Stop poking me! its mean!!!"  
Squall starts crying.  
Quistis, "uh.......Lazer Eyes!"  
Lazer things come out of Quistis' eyes.  
Sabin, "...."  
Quistis turns to him, and Sabin jumps out of the way of her Lazer Eyes.  
Quistis, "WHAT?!? You got a problem with my attack?"  
Quistis glares at him, and Sabin dashes out of the way again.  
Sabin, "uh..no..no problem!"  
Quistis turns again, and Sabin jumps away again. She hits Squall and burns the fur on his jacket.  
Squall, "You hurt my clothes!"  
Squall takes off his jacket, and starts petting it.  
Squall, "oh, my poor jacket......"  
Quistis sighs, looking down at the floor. She burns a hole through the floor.  
Sabin, "... ..... ...... ....."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Rinoa, "Alright little guy.... get into the bathtub..."  
Chibi Sephy, "MMMEEEOOOOOOO!!!"  
Celes, "it doesnt seem to be working..."  
Locke, "yeah, i know.."  
Chibi Sephy dashes out the door.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Chibi Sephy starts rolling around in the grass.  
Sephiroth, "You have to take a bath, my minion..."  
Chibi Sephy, "mmmmmmmmoooooowwwwww!"  
Sephiroth, "..oh? Alright, then, we will bathe together!!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Cloud, "DAMNIT!"  
Barret, "You cant cook, can you?"  
Cloud, "SHUT UP!!"  
Edgar, "....nope..."  
Cloud, ".......quiet."  
Relm, "There! ten more hot dogs!!"  
Cloud, "...........damnit!"  
Edgar, "Arent you ashamed? You're 21, and this little girl can cook better than you..."  
Gau, Vincent and Cyan walk in.  
Cyan, "We have been sent to help you!"  
Cloud, "As long as you DONT sing..."  
Aeris, "Right! No singing!"  
Cyan, "iiiiiiii...bbbbuut............b-b-bbbbuut....."  
Tifa, "NO SINGING!"  
Cyan, "............" Cyan starts to pout.  
Cyan, "......aaawh! im so sad! I think i will go make fake letters to that girl in that town we passed who's boyfriend left the city!!!! OOOOH, im so pathetic!!"  
Mog, "......kupo-fucking stupid?"  
Cloud nods.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Sephiroth and Chibi Sephy are taking a bubble bath.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Strago, "eeeehehehehehehe! I'm a crazed old man! Look! It's the Masamune....."  
Strago picks it up.  
Strago, "This is Sephiroth's sword.... I think ill borrow it... he wont mind..... heeheheheheheheheheeeeeeee!"  
Strago runs off with the Masamune.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Selphie, Irvine, Seifer, Laguna, Quistis, Squall and Sabin are running from the castle of the short people.  
Short People, "die! diediedieeeeee! Bolt! Die! Doom! Fire!"  
Sabin, "Ach! AAH!"  
Squall, "They're being mean....."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Strago, "eeehehehe!"  
Strago runs into the bathroom.  
Sephiroth, "EY! What're you doing with my sword?!?!"  
Chibi Sephy, "meeoooo!"  
Strago, "Im borrowing it!! Never returning it! heeehehehehehehe!"  
Sephiroth, "why you---"  
Chibi Sephy, "Meooo Meooo!"  
  
Through Meooo Meooo  
  
Sephiroth, "Thats my Chibi Sephy..."  
Chibi Sephy, "Meow meoo meeio meow meoo...........mow!"  
Sephiroth, "WHAT? You did not! Take that back, you little spawn of---"  
Chibi Sephy starts purring, "Meeoooomeomeomiiio!"  
Sephiroth, ".............."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Zell, "Im home! And im hungry!"  
Locke, "you know where it is..."  
Zell, "YeeAH!"  
Cloud, "Chicken Wuss....."  
Zell, "WHAT? I AM NOT!!!!!"  
Zell runs away, to eat his hot dogs.  
Cloud starts laughing, "What a loser...."  
  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
I ended this one a bit shorter than the others, but I should have another chapteru up in the next few days. Well, I hope you're not getting tired of it, as one review suggested.... Ill try to make it less boring, but I dunno... it doesnt strike me as boring, but ill try harder.  
Please review!  
  
'-'  
'-'  
'-'  
'-'  



	6. .....

At this point, i am going to begin calling the cafeteria of Trabia garden the cafetorium, for all those who are confused as to what the hell a cafetorium is...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Locke, Rinoa, and Celes go to the cafetorium. They see Zell running crazily out with hot dogs.  
Rinoa, "Stealing them?"  
Barret, "No... we dont even want the fucking things... Cloud made most of 'em, probably get food poisoning if ya tried to eat them..."  
Cloud, "..... oh, come on... I'm not that bad a cook..."  
Gau passes out on the ground.  
Edgar shrugs, "I told him not to eat it.. but no... dumb kid'll put anything in his mouth..."  
Cloud, "...."  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Zell, running away from the cafetorium, sees Strago running as fast as he can without having a heart attack, witht he Masamune. As confused as Zell is by this, it is nothing compared to his confusion as to why Sephiroth is running after him, clad only in a pink towel.  
Zell, "......."  
Zell walks away, eating his hot dog.  
  
Strago and Sephiroth run into the cafetorium.  
Relm, "Are they plaing tag...?"  
Edgar, "Maybe theyre playing a more... sexual... version of tag..."  
They all shudder.  
Cloud, "We should hope not..."  
Tifa notices that Strago has the masamune, "Why does Strago have sephiroths sword...?"  
Aeris, "He guards that damned sword with his life... how the hell could that old man get it?"  
Mog, "......kupo-shower... strago peep and 'treasure hunt' the sword-kupo..."  
Cloud, "Haha, yes.. Well, Locke, weve found another 'treasure hunter' for you to be friends with..."  
Locke twitches, "....I am not a thief..."  
Cloud, "Oh, sure, so you just 'treasure hunted' my attack, huh?"  
Locke, "No, you stole mine!"  
Cloud, "Nooo! My rock is better than yours, so its the original!"  
Locke, "Mine is two colours!"  
Cloud, "Well mine is shiny!!"  
Locke, "........."  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
With the aid of Quistis' lazer eyes destroying all of the short people, Squall, Quistis, and Sabin are finally able to leave the lands of the short people.  
Apon return to Trabia Garden, however, they notice Sephiroth, wearing only a towel, chasing Strago. Strago, by this point, is giggling like a little school girl and holding the Masamune.  
Quistis, "I hope this isnt what it looks like..."  
Sabin, "So do I, so do I..."  
Squall, "What do you mean? We shoud all be open about our feelings towards eachother. And if thats how Sephiroth feels towards Strago, then we shouldnt be angry at him for showing it."  
Sephiroth catches up with Strago, kicks him, then begins to strangel him.  
Squall, "I hope that isnt what it looks like..."  
Quistis, "Strange, because now both of us hope it is what it looks like..."  
Sabin nods.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Rinoa, "Are you sure Gau'll be ok?"  
Edgar, "Oh, yeah! He probably ate poisonous berries and small rocks when he was on the Veldt..."  
Celes, "Maybe we shoud take him back to the Veldt?"  
Cloud, "... what is 'the veldt'?"  
Rinoa, "Yes, what is this velvet place?"  
Celes, "Its a continent..."  
Rinoa, "No it isnt..."  
Edgar pulls out a map, and points to the Veldt, "Look, see that right there? That is the veldt."  
Rinoa pulls out a different map, and compares it to Edgars, "Noooooo, thats Esthar..."  
Edgar, "Veldt!"  
Rinoa, "Esthar!"  
Edgar, "Veldt!"  
Rinoa, "Esthar!"  
Tifa, "MIDGAR!!!!"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Strago, "Heeheeheeheehee! Sephiroths arms are around my neck!"  
Sephiroth tightens his grip around Stragos neck, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"  
Strago, "heheheheheeheheheheeeee! How romantic!"  
Sephiroth, "You crazy bastard, cant you tell the difference between romance and murder?!!!"  
Quistis, Squall, and Sabin walk up to Strago and Sephiroth.  
Quistis, "Um, Sephiroth, whats going on...?"  
Sephiroth lets go of Strago, "Um... nothing... i wasent trying to kill our SeeD.. nuu.uu.uuu..."  
Sabin, "Why are you wearing only a towel?"  
Sephiroth grabs his sword and runs off, "Well, got to get back to my... not pink bubble bath... bye!!!!!"  
Strago, "eeeheheheheehehee!"  
Quistis, "We need a big bag to just put him in, and throw him in a river..."  
Squall, "But that would be mean!"  
Sabin, ".... uh, Squall? Thats the point..."  
Squall, "So your going to just be mean to poor Strago for no reason?"  
Quistis and Sabin being walking away.  
Quistis, "Here, tell you what. We'll leave, and you an Strago can be friends alone..."  
Quisty and Sabin run off.  
Strago, "Heeheeheeheeheee!"  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Sorry about the delay of chapters five and six, fanfiction.net started crashing my computer every time i tried to upload a new chapter...  
well, theres the two newest chapters! Im too tired right now to make the sixth chapter any longer than this, so, yeah...  
Please review! Tell me what you thought! 


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